End the Insanity

Hello my dear, currently non-existent followers! Undoubtedly at some point in your life, you have experienced the horror and unadulterated evil that are chain messages. These badly spelled, often macabre, little missives not only clog up your face-book wall and your email, but also quite often threaten your life if you don't follow their every instruction. In essence, all they're just literary hostage takers. The simple idea that if you don't re-post one of these to fifteen other pages, you'll be murdered by a creepy, limbless, little girl under your bed, or never be loved again is completely absurd. But do you know what's worse than that? Even though you know that it's ridiculous, you still ponder the possibility of deceased children under your bed. You sit there at twelve AM, wondering if that noise was the sound of the murderer, and then think "Oh crap...what if this one is REAL?!?!" Then of course, your stuck. You can't close your eyes, the specter might sneak up on you! You have to leave the lights on, because everybody knows that nothing bad can happen under the warm glow of fluorescent light bulbs! Why, you can't even move your feet outside the safety of the blanket! Needless to say, this leads to a very uncomfortable night, and an even worse morning. In one of these sleepless nights, I decided "No more! No longer will my nights be controlled by you, chain message! I OWN YOU!!!!!" I then decided I'd make a blog to humiliate and make of them, and eventually lead to their destruction.